


A Favourable Comparison

by Elthadriel



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drinking, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 14:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5788780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elthadriel/pseuds/Elthadriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iron Bull and Nagaira Adaar argue over whose human is better while the two humans in question look on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Favourable Comparison

**Author's Note:**

> Just some silliness I've been sitting on for a while. Dorian and Josie being buddies is very important to me. 
> 
> Also, for those interested [this](http://elthadriel.tumblr.com/post/137546847292/replica-004-commission-i-did-for-amazing) is what Nagaira looks like, because I commissioned this recently and I want everyone to see how pretty she is. 
> 
> The lovely [Dee](http://dichotomous-dragon.tumblr.com/) beta'd this.

“My human,” Nagaira said seriously, leaning in close to Bull, placing one hand on the table between them to steady herself, “is tinier than your human.”

 

On her other side Josephine let out a loud snort of laughter before hiding her face behind her cup by taking another swig of ale, with a quite, slightly horrified mutter of, “oh dear.”

 

Bull looked between Nagaira and Josephine with a frown before glancing over at where Dorian was getting them another round from the bar. It was true; Josephine was just a little smaller than Dorian and for some reason that made him rather grumpy. He looked at the not unsubstantial number of empty mugs littering the table. That might have something to do with it.

 

“That’s true, Boss,” he started slowly, “but I’m bigger than you so Dorian is smaller in comparison to me.” He settled back in his chair smugly. That was much better.

 

“Not by much,” Nagaira said, but she was frowning.

 

“By enough.”

 

“Josie is nicer than Dorian,” Nagaira tried.

 

“Now that’s not fair,” Bull complained, “Dorian is plenty nice behind closed doors.

 

“Doesn’t count,” Nagaira insisted, “You can’t prove it, and I bet Josie is still nicer.”

 

Bull considered his position and sighed. “He is still a bit of a brat sometimes.”

 

“Who’s a brat?” Dorian asked, appearing with a tray of drinks, claiming one for himself, and placing the rest on the table. He sat between Josephine and Bull, sitting close enough to Bull so their knees knocked under the table. Josephine and Nagaira politely pretended not to notice.

 

“You, apparently,” Nagaira said. She grabbed her own drink and took a swig, punctuating it with an exaggerated exhale.

 

Dorian fixed Bull with a look, warning that a good explanation had better be coming, or Bull might soon start regretting his life choices.

 

“I was defending you,” Bull said, trying to reassure him. “Oh! Boss!” He turned away from Dorian. “Dorian is fucking hot. Have you seen him on the field when he’s throwing spells around? Fucking gorgeous,” Bull enthused.

 

“I mean sure,” Nagaira waved a hand dismissively. “But it doesn’t even compare to Josephine staring down a group of foreign ambassadors.” She took Josephine’s hand in her own, smiling fondly at her partner.

 

“To each their own,” Bull grunted. “I guess that one’s a tie.”

 

“Does anyone want to explain what’s happening?” Dorian asked, looking rather like he had given up trying to decide on how to react to the situation.

 

“They are deciding which of us makes a better human partner,” Josephine said fondly, before Bull of Nagaira could defend themselves.

 

Dorian looked between the three of them. “I’ll allow it, I suppose. If anyone can compare to my perfection it is Lady Montilyet.”

 

“Flattery won’t make me forget the bottles of wine you owe the Inquisition,” she said sternly but she was smiling and her face was flushed from the drink.

 

Next to them, Bull and Nagaira and moved on to other points of comparison.

 

“Dorian dresses better.”

 

“But it must take so long to remove,” Nagaira argued.

 

“That’s half the fun,” Bull said with a grin. “Especially when he starts getting squirmy and need-”

 

“Bull!” Dorian snapped, going red in a way that had nothing to do with the alcohol they had been drinking.

 

Nagaira gave them both a look. “Okay, that’s two more for you but one to me because Josie is less grumpy.”

 

Dorian rolled his eyes and turned away from them to Josephine. “I was only gone a few minutes and this conversation starts. I expected better from you.”

 

She laughed and touched him lightly on the arm. “You’re just afraid you’ll lose.”

 

Dorian narrowed his eyes.

 

“Josie doesn’t complain about every possible type of weather.”

 

“Dorian can _do_ things with his magic.”

 

“Josie has never sat anything on fire while in bed.”

 

Dorian and Josephine glanced between the pair as they descended into quick fire points.

 

“Is anyone actually keeping score?” Dorian asked.

 

“I do believe I’m winning.” Josephine took a larger mouthful of cheap ale than she could reasonably manage.

 

“Based on what exactly?” Dorian asked.

 

“Based on the irrefutable fact that no one can prove otherwise,” she said with a smug smile.

 

Before Dorian could respond Nagaira interrupted, hauling Josephine into her lap. Josephine squeaked in surprise but settled quickly, leaning back against Nagaira. Dorian pre-emptively moved out of Bull’s reach.

 

“See,” Nagaira said, kissing Josephine’s check. “Point to us because she’ll sit in my lap.”

 

“Give me a moment,” Bull insisted. He looked expectantly at Dorian.

 

“No.”

 

Bull looked harder.

 

“No, Bull, I’m not going to sit on your knee so you can win a ridiculous competition with the Inquisitor.”

 

Bull’s eye widened ever so slightly and he stuck out his lower lip.

 

“Now you just look silly,” Dorian said, but his voice wasn’t as firm as it had been a moment ago.

 

“Please, Dorian.” Bull looked positively pitiful.

 

Dorian threw himself into Bull’s lap with a curse, looking pointedly anywhere but at Bull, who whooped. He wrapped his arms tightly around Dorian’s waist and nuzzled the back of his neck while he tried, poorly, to maintain an air of dignity and disapproval.

 

“What else you got?” Bull asked with a wide grin.

 

\---

 

“Do you think they’d notice if we left?” Dorian asked, leaning against Josephine. They had both managed to escape their respective Qunari’s laps when the pair had decided more drinks were in order.

 

Josephine let out a long suffering sigh.

 

“Almost certainly not,” she said, accent thinker with the amount of alcohol in her. She shifted and her arm ended up around Dorian’s shoulders. It was comforting in an entirely different way than when Bull showed such affection. Josie’s embrace made him think of Felix, but with none of the lingering, soul-deep ache that normally accompanied thoughts of Felix, or the desire to find a bottle and drown himself in it.  He should remember Felix like this more often, he realized, and took a long drink as the thought settled.

 

Dorian watched Bull argue with the Inquisitor, knowing beside him Josephine was doing the same, and he wondered if she felt the same hopeless fondness watching their antics he did.

 

“All foolishness aside a moment,” Josephine said suddenly, breaking the silence between them, “does he make you happy?”

 

“Who?” Dorian asked, turning to look at her. “Bull?”

 

She nodded impatiently.

 

A very faint blush rose on Dorian’s checks, similar to when Nagaira had first asked him about Bull. He wasn’t used to people taking him and Bull seriously, and for once not because they where both men, but because, well, it was _him and Bull._ People seeing them as something that could exist beyond a sexual relationship was almost as surprising as when he had realised that for himself.

 

“Exceptionally,” he told Josephine, “but you can never tell him that. He would never let me forget it.”

 

“I think he knows,” she said, giving him a pitying pat on the arm.

 

“Almost certainly,” he said, sighing dramatically.

 

“I think anyone who looks at you knows, you both get these adorable little smiles when you look at each other,” Josephine continued, seemingly delighted as Dorian groaned and buried his face in his hands.

 

They were quiet again as they both continued to drink, albeit at a much slower pace than at the start of the evening, and Dorian managed to get some of his embarrassment under control.

 

“Does she?” He asked after a while.

 

“Hmm?” Josephine looked up, seeming a little drunker again, now she wasn’t focused on making Dorian flush.

  
“Does she make you happy? I don’t believe I ever asked you before.” He actually knew he hadn’t. He had asked Nagaira, hidden the question in among a joke, and she had smiled widely, looking younger than Dorian had ever seen her before. She had never given him a straight answer but he supposed that smile was answer enough. With that in mind he couldn’t really continue to fault Josephine for noticing how he and Bull smiled at one another.

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy,” Josephine said, voice soft but oddly serious again. She cut off the tone with a sudden laugh. “And, it is rather nice to have such a… _Tall_ partner.

 

“I’ll say,” Dorian said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. The still sober part of his mind was horrified at his behaviour.  She slapped his arm with a giggle.

 

“He’s rubbing off on you,” she announced.

 

“If you tell a soul they will never find your body,” Dorian said, and managed to sound stern.  Josephine laughed brightly, and placed her hand on her heart in mock oath.

 

They fell back into a companionable silence.

 

“Your paramour seems busy engaging in an arm wrestling contest with mine, though what that has to do with which of us is better, I dread to think.  Might I walk you back to your quarters?”

 

She fixed him with a steady look. “You’ve drunk as much as I have,” she reminded him and Dorian was forced to remember the occasions Bull had (rather publicly) carried Dorian back to one of their rooms.

 

“We could walk each other,” Dorian amended.

 

Josephine smiled fondly at him at that. She pressed a kiss to Dorian’s check and he beamed at her, open and honest in a way he rarely allowed himself to be.

 

“I feel we should leave before we get dragged back into their competition, not that there is any way of knowing which of us is winning,” Dorian said, watching as the two Qunari returned to arguing. Bull was making lewd gestures and Dorian didn’t want to imagine what events exactly he was referencing.

 

“I doubt they will remember any of this tomorrow anyway.” Josephine sounded a little sad.

 

“I think we can declare it a draw, Lady Montilyet.”

 

Josephine gave him a once over. “That seems agreeable, Lord Pavus.”

 

They were laughing as they stumbled from the tavern, leaning on one another for support.

 

 


End file.
